"A Call to Arms" was the first of the FK Wars. It took place in January 1994. It was, so to speak, "The War to Start all Wars".

As War One began, the only truly organized faction was the first of them, the Cousins, though other factions had been proposed on-list, and a variety of names put forward. A few followers of Nick, Janette, Natalie, and Schanke had already identified themselves; and they became the (fictional) targets of the first few pranks. As the War escalated, extending to those previously non-aligned or lurkers, people chose sides.

Only two or three dozen people played in War One, not all of them equally active. The first posts were made by Cousins; others entered the game with response posts. The organized structure that later developed—where factions had designated writers—did not yet exist; and people wrote their own material and posted it themselves. All told, something over a hundred posts were made, including several at the end to summarize the activity.


Laurie Salopek


At LaCroix's behest, the Cousins declare war on the other groups, and start playing tricks on them (through fiction). Matters escalate as reciprocal tricks are played back on them; and the "War" expands to include non-aligned lurkers—many of whom promptly decide to declare an allegiance and join War themselves. Eventually, a truce is enforced by a consortium comprised of members from all the other groups, known as the Wicked Warren.

Nobody was warned at the outset. I don't know who chose the initial targets, but I had to ask to be one. They hadn't planned to attack me. I don't know why, since this was before I was a listowner. The factions didn't play as factions -- that came about in later wars. No permission was asked for [...]. It's my understanding that only one attackee objected offlist [...].

The initial attack posts were called torments. Some of us, including me, fought back. Alliances naturally formed. Then Sandye [...] approached some or maybe all the victims, and invited us to join her in a group to carry the fight back to LC and his three Cousins. I suspect I wasn't the only one who had thougth this might be a trick, but it wasn't. Thus was born Sandye's WIcked Warren of Bunnies. -- Lisa McDavid in a post to FORKNI-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU, 24 March 2011

Factions InvolvedEdit

NOTE: In the course of the narratives, alternative names are given for some of the factions, usually indicated as tentative or rejected, or perhaps as one individual's personal preference.

The Cousins, Knighties, and Ravenettes existed prior to War One. The other groups more or less emerged in the course of the War.

  • Cousins
  • Knighties - also referred to as Nicholaaahs
  • FoDs - also referred to as having previously been known as Skankie-ites, Schankites, or Sluvakians
  • Ravenettes - also referred to as ravens, corbies, or bonnie wee corbies
  • (NatPackers) - actually not referred to by their usual later name, but—under various slightly different spellings—known as Au-Naturelles, au-NAT-eurelles, or au-NATurales
  • Die-Hards

In addition, the Wicked Warren was formed partway through the war when Sandye Chisholm e-mailed several people (from different factions) who had been attacked by the Cousins and suggested they organize themselves into a group to coordinate a counterattack. It was Sandye (a Watership Down fan) who came up with the names.[1]

People InvolvedEdit

NOTE: Some of these people started with affiliations; others declared allegiance part way through the story. Yet others remained undeclared at War's end.

Laurie M. Salopek, Margaret A. Newman, John E. Dencoff, Allen Braunsdorf, Karin Welss, Valery King, Jennise, Lisa McDavid, Barbara Reid, Don Bassingthwaite, Janet(te) Dornhoff, Sharon Scott, Valerie Meachum, Sharon Himmanen, Tara, Linda Roth, Sandye Chisholm, Beth Marchese, Cal, Pam Perry, Brian Gerstel, Susan Garrett, Rebecca Rauscher, Hilary McLachlan, Monica Seiler, Jennise Hall, Jean Prior, Sharon Himmanen


Rules banning the use of non-Forever Knight fandoms had not yet evolved. Most obviously, the fans who banded to form the Wicked Warren used codenames from Richard Adams' Watership Down. As well, in order to transport herself to Toronto, one fan used a trump card explicitly based on the ones in Roger Zelazny's Amber series.


Memorable momentsEdit

Tricks played:

  • Laurie Salopek - Blew up Allen's computer and the resulting power surge shut off his electricity.
  • Valery K - Sent a box of chocolate frogs to Sharon Scott.
  • Karin - Tampered with Jennise's script
  • John - Gave Barb the vampire spell checker from hell
  • Sandye - Stole Lisa's files
  • Sharon Scott - Sent Karin a wedding tape with Pachelbel's Canon in the Background.
  • Valerie Meachum - Sent Don on a wild vamp chase
  • John - Made Tara really paranoid and then flooded her with really BAD poetry.
  • Lisa - recruited Larry Merlin to all sorts of nasty things with our accounts.
  • Sandye - Stole all of Monica's caffeine supply and then got rid of her car.
  • Laurie - Gave some frames to Jean that were chemically treated and destroyed some of Jean's autographed photos.
  • Tara - Locked Monica out of her directories and removed all of her fanfic
  • Valerie- Sent a Mozart tape to Salieri.
  • Don - Ruined Valerie's car
  • Laurie - Set up a FOD using Beth's name. Sabotaged all of Cal Lynn's JK Fan packets resulting in her being turned over to the postmaster general (all in Beth's name). Threatened Valerie's honey Jack's collection of video tapes
  • Sandye - Crashed an hearse into Susan's car and then truly took her on a ride from hell.
  • Janette - Set up Laurie's account to capture .login files and posted "Get a Life Geeks" to all netnews groups
  • Margaret - Sent a dirty diaper stuffed Barney to Nat and then replaced all of Sharon H's video tapes with Barney tapes.
  • Liz/Sharon H. - Place a lonely hearts type personal ad in Laurie's name
  • Sandye - After letting Hilary OD on caffeine and chocolate, gave her a box of snakes.
  • Tara - Arranged for John's account to get flooded with bounced mail.
  • Jennise- Let Alma redecorate Karin's townhouse!
  • Margaret - Filled Jennise's apartment with Barneys.
  • SharonS - The catalog entry from hell.
  • Jeanster - Had Laurie: 1. Removed as assistant listowner, 2. removed from the CP Directory, 3. Stole the infamous T-Shirt and last but not least, 4. She blew up Laurie's car.
  • Jasmine - Broke into John's account and did a rm -rf
  • Tara - Then had John kidnapped
  • John - Gave Molly a bunch of FK tapes with the last 5 minutes missing from each episode!
  • Laurie - Replaced one of Sharon H's Barney tapes with football and then took her on a LONG taxi ride.
  • Dionne - Sent Sandra A LOT of pictures with CATS.
  • SharonH - Trapped Margaret in a Barney suit with a bunch of screaming kids all around
  • Laurie - Scanned all the photos that Valerie sent her of Amy dressed up as Janette and made them available by FTP.


  1. Some of this information comes from a post made to FORKNI-L@LISTS.PSU.EDU by Lisa McDavid on 25 March 2011.